String of Pearls, or I’m Reminded Yet Again of One of My Favorite Songs

String of Pearls by Soul Asylum

(Lyrics from memory)

[Musical intro]

She swings a string of pearls on the corner
The streetlight reflects the light in the water
The string, it snaps, and the pearls go sailing
And the splash and bounce and roll cross the wet street

As she bends to chase the pearls, a car pulls ’round the corner
She darts from the eyes of the panic-struck driver
Who’s racing to the delivery room
Cuz his wife is in the backseat, bustin’ out of her womb

[Musical interlude]

The sac breaks and out come the Siamese twins
Who grow up to become the first president
With two heads…are better than one

He puts his heads in his hands, says I have to put my heads together
I can become the best president ever
And not just president…fend for yourself

[Wordless chorus]

Signs his name, takes the blame
For all of the names with no shame
And at last, they adjourn and they leave
And in walks a man, with a broom, and a knife, and blood on his hands

And he sweeps everything under the rug
And goes home to his kids, and gives them a hug
But his wife was not there, she had just left a letter
That said “You’d be much better off without me”

[Musical interlude]

Now his wife took the train to her ex-lover’s funeral
Who died in the bathroom, hit his head on a urinal
When they got together, the knowledge was carnal
And the widow was at the funeral, and they had quite a catfight

And they fell into the hole where the casket was resting
And the preacher just left in the middle of the sermon
Cuz death was one thing, but women made him nervous
And he ran to his car and he pulled ’round the corner

[Wordless chorus]

When something in the street caught the light in his eyes
He pulled over, reached down, and picked up a pearl from the gutter
He didn’t know what to think; he brought it home and washed it in the sink
And he gave the pearl to Sister Mary Theresa
Who could not accept it, so she gave it to Lisa
A young prostitute who was missing a pearl
On the necklace that broke…late last night

[Wordless chorus…fade]

;-P

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